Recently Aaron was diagnosed with ADD. He was having some problems at work and has always had a short fuse at home. I started to see a lot of similar traits in the 2 of us. So he went to the dr., got tested, and what do you know he scored really high. He started on some meds and I can't believe the difference! Some may say that you can really notice a different right away, but we did. Aaron is a new person. It's amazing. He's so much fun, more organized, nicer to the kids, and just seems to be on top of things. It's funny because we've known I have adhd, but since we started having kids I haven't been on meds for it since it doesn't agree with pregnancy very well, and I never really noticed that our lives were that crazy. Seemed normal to me. So we have a million piles of clutter, we spend money impulsively and our finances always seem to be a mess. The house can't stay clean and I dare say our parenting techniques leave a lot to be desired.
But who doesn't struggle with these things at some point right?
Well it wasn't until Aaron started his meds and I started to notice that the way I've been getting by maybe isn't as functional as I thought. Poor Aaron met me when I was medicated and pretty together and then we had Parker and I've been a little crazy ever since. I guess the good thing about getting married so quickly for us what that we didn't know what we were getting into. It just came and we had to learn to handle it. And love each other for it. And it worked for us.
Anyway, I'm getting sidetracked. So I decided maybe it would be a good idea for me to try my meds again knowing now that it will be a good while before we have anymore babies. Who knows, maybe projects that were started months ago will get finished finally, laundry will get washed and put away, and I might be able to find something I need once in awhile.
So with both of us having it, our poor kids don't stand a very good chance huh. We already know Parker has it, it remains to be seen if the others do. But we are looking into getting Parker started on some meds soon too.
I know there is a lot of controversy out there about add and if it's a real thing or not and if it is over diagnosed in kids. And if you're one of those people who think it's not a real thing, then just ignore this, but I know for me, and my family it has been a very real thing, and when on medications the difference has been phenomenal. My nurse told me about a conference she went to where they talked about a study of adolescent girls with undiagnosed adhd. They found that they were something like 80% more likely to be sexually active, experiment with drugs and alcohol and or have eating disorders. And struggle with depression and anxiety. Hmmm, sound like my teenage years or what! When they first told me that I had it, after Maren was born, I started reading about it and was amazed to learn so much. It was like my life had been written down and suddenly I had an explanation for the way I had been feeling and why I did some of the things that I did. Not to say I'm not to blame for the choices that I made, i am, but it was good to know that there was a reason that those things were so hard for me.
So to say that it doesn't exist or that you can just change your diet and be rid of it I think does a great disservice to those effected. Especially kids who could benefit so much from treatment and who's lives could be so much better in the long run.
Anyway, I'm excited to start my meds again and combined with Aaron on his see what could happen for our family. I'm grateful to see the difference in Aaron and how it has prompted me to take care of myself better so that we can all be at our best. I hate that it is a never ending struggle to remember to take the pills and keep up with it, but I'm glad that there is something out there to help, and now Aaron and I can help each other with it. So thanks for putting up with us all this time :)
5 comments:
You sweethearts..so glad that you are working on this..We love you so very much and its always hard for others to know what you are going through...Our prayers are with you always !!! Big loves to all
My sister Valerie has it. One of the biggest areas of her life that it affected were her grades, she was failing everything because she couldn't focus. Once she got on the meds, she started immediately getting straight A's.
I think there are probaby things people can do about their environment (food, chemicals, whatever) that can have an impact on the severity of any behavioral disorder, but they are very real issues that usually do need meds. Only you can decide what is the best action for your family. So good for you getting what you need to be healthy and happy.
Wow. One of our engineers, his wife taught flute lessons and had a student who was ADD. The wife didn't believe it was a real thing, so when the mom called one day to say that the student had run out of meds and shouldn't come to lessons, the wife said, = oh, what the heck, let her come. And when the girl came, she nearly tore the house to pieced, bouncing off the walls, unable to focus = shocking. So I believe in it. I just don't believe that all kids who get the meds need them - highly intelligent and thus bored students who are subsequently unable to sit still in class are, as I understand it, handled this way to keep peace and not demand so much of the teacher.
It's the application and diagnosis I question at times. But this is wonderful. How great for you guys.
Sometimes the meds make a big difference and sometimes a small one. Hope they work well for both of you.
oh, i so understand. I think it is easy to just pass it off as typical kid behavior, but I know for Jake it has made all the difference in the world!! Believe it or not, he scored higher than Aaron. I know for years he said that all he had to do was change his behavior, and he was able to change a few things, but some of it was a little beyond his control!! The meds have not only helped him with finishing things, but he has so much more confidence in himself, and he has so much less anxiety!! There is so much less contention in our house, It has been wonderfull!! I think it is just one of those things people don't understand because they don't see it, or they just think that people should be able to "fix" things on their own, when studies have shown how differently a person with ADD/ADHD brain works. I don't know how I would feel about having our kids on it, but I do know that if I can stop them from living through all the difficulties, and feelings of inadequecy/worthlessness that I know jake felt, I would do it!! Wether through teaching them about it, so we can learn was to cope with their behavior challenges, or with medication, Thankfully, we live a time now where there is so much more knowledge about it, that we can help our kids not have to experience the things we,as their parents went through, more because of lack of knowledge or the stigma associated with having a add or adhd child. Or maybe from fear of being judged as a bad parent for not handling/teaching your child better. Whatever the reasons were, I am grateful that we live in the time we do, with so much more knowledge and ways to help our children over these challanges
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